Grateful

I'm grateful:

71.  for the discipline and public "accountability" of  of multitude monday

72.  for the "nuggets of joy" that seem to eventually come to the person looking for them

73.  for my husband's faithfulness to love me, day in and day out, over 35 years

74.  for gorgeous sunsets

75.  that happen over and over and over

76.  for living in a place where I get to watch pelicans fish on a regular basis

77.  for children who help waken their napping infant cousin with kisses

78.  and parents who allow and encourage it

79.  for grandchildren bursting in through the front door with hearty greetings and tales of the latest adventure

80.  for David's flexibility in welcoming my mom on our trip to Alaska

81.  and chauffeuring us all over the place

82.  freeing me to drink in the scenery

83.  for the joy of reading books for learning and pleasure

84.  for the musician at "our beach" playing a xylophone last night just before sunset

85.  for Eli's interest and joy as he danced in the water to the jamaican beat

86.  that I could see his mom in his dance

87.  for the fiercely strong waves

88.  so far out, yet still shallow enough for the little ones to make it all the way on foot

89.  and have so much fun trying to body surf and withstand the pummeling

90.  for ground broken and work begun on preparing the land for the "construction shed" and future home for Kyle and Michelle's family

91.  that the children will be able to watch and help throughout the process, building knowledge and good stewardship that comes from helping to build it

92.  for my two daughters-in-law

93.  who are very different in so many ways

94.  but who each contribute so much to who our family is becoming

95.  and also to their friends and communities

96.  for the many varied ways I get to witness our sons loving their wives

97.  and children

98.  for all the young adults we've had live with us for a season...and all the new life and perspective they have brought to David and me:

99.  Kyle and Michelle, Joanna, Sam and Amber, Amy

100.  for abundant health and the ability to work

Where in the World...? Two

While these posts designed for a game of observation and memory will be geared mostly for my immediate and local family, any others may join in guessing.  I live in Pinellas County, Florida and travel between Largo and Tampa for most of my weeks, with occasional trips farther north to Brooksville and Floral City (mothers).  

Most recent vacation trips have been to Alaska, Minneapolis, and Seattle, with older pics from Chicago and maybe even Boston and Baltimore if I get around to loading older photo cd's.

At times I will post pictures already featured on this or other blogs to which I contribute .  I will try to post a variety of "easy" and "harder" pics, to encourage the kids in their observation and deduction skills.

Have fun, and be as specific as possible when you post your guesses, please.

God Will

I don't remember now what the conflict was.  But I do remember it was a seemingly unscalable, impassable mountain in my relationship with my husband.  I'm guessing that conflict took place somewhere in the 15th-25th year of our marriage.  It wasn't even close to being the first conflict of that level, intensity, and insurmountability.  It certainly wouldn't be the last.  Or the longest.  Or the worst.  But I was undone -- completely.

I saw no way out, around or through.  My husband exited the room -- or the house --and I slid down the wall in a heap on the floor, weeping, flinging my broken heart and intractable husband at the feet of God, crying out for grace.

Quietly, from a still place deep within/beyond me, came words and music, and I began to sing:

"God will make a way where there seems to be no way.  
He works in ways we cannot see---He will make a way for me.   
He will be my guide, Hold me closely to His side.  
With love and strength for each new day 
He will make a way, He will make a way."

I sang the lyrics once, twice, four times, then stood to my feet in that spot with a quieted heart.  I knew that God had seen, heard, and answered.   I would wait with a heart that trusted Him, to see what He would do.
All the rest of that day, and throughout the several days that followed, I sang and hummed that song.  No matter what other activity I was involved in, I could hear the words and melody:

"God will make a way where there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see -- He will make a way for me.."


God did make a way where there seemed to be no way.  As He had done many times before and would do many times again in my relationship with my husband.




Thank You, Don Moen and Integrity Music for giving me -- and multitudes of other people over the past three? decades -- so many songs that have taught us how to praise God through song, have ushered us into God's presence and embedded His truths in our heart.

So MANY songs have so greatly enriched my walk with God over the years...bringing hope, healing, thanksgiving, praise, intercession and joy -- more stories to tell later.  I am so grateful for the ability to hear and to sing, so grateful for the wonderful gift of music.

Surrender My Demand For Life on My Terms?

I was a little glad when I got back to civilization/internet access, and saw that I had missed Amber's assignment of writing about surrender.  After 45 years of relationship with the God of the universe I had  many experiences which I had characterized as surrender, but the last five years held so much skepticism and unbelief on my part that I doubted my ability to remember and separate just one example from my tangled ball of experience.  "Whew!  I can excuse myself from that assignment", I thought.

But promises I'd made to myself and years of placing my heart's desires before God joined to become a quietly insistent voice that I discipline myself to add another, older perspective to the fresh accounts  already told in and attached to Amber's blog.  I went to my bookshelves to pull Catherine Marshall'sbooks and find where she had written about relinquishment in a way that had imprinted inself into both my daily experience and long term memory.

You young women have likely heard of Catherine Marshall only, if at all, as the author of Christy, a winsome story of a young teacher's first years living and teaching in a southern Appalachian mountain community which was made into a movie decades ago.  Those of you who are enjoying "Redeeming Love" will probably enjoy Christy.  Catherine Marshall has written numerous easy to read non-fiction books, which I heartily recommend to you, detailing her "own search for a meaningful life, a practical faith, and a closer relationship with God."  I have on my shelves: To Live Again, Beyond Ourselves, Something More, Meeting God at Every Turn, The Helper, and Mr. Jones Meet the Master (this last book was Catherine's first, a written compilation of some of her first husband's sermons, published after his death.)

In Beyond Ourselves, Catherine writes about the Prayer of Relinquishment:

"I got my first glimpse of it in the fall of 1943.  The illness that I have mentioned before... had kept me in bed for many months.  A bevy of specialists seemed unable to help.  Persistent prayer, using all the faith I could muster, had resulted in -- nothing.


One afternoon a pamphlet was put in my hand.  It was the story of a missionary who had been an invalid for eight years.  Constantly she had prayed that God would make her well, so that she might do His work.  Finally, worn out with futile petition, she prayed, 'All right.  I give up.  If you want me to be an invalid for the rest of my days, that's Your business.  Anyway, I've discovered that I want You even more than I want health.  You decide.'  The pamphlet said that within two weeks the woman was out of bed, completely well.


This made no sense to me.  It seemed too pat.  Yet I could not forget the story.....I came to the same point of abject acceptance.  'I'm tired of asking' was the burden of my prayer.  'I'm beaten, finished.  God You decide what you want for me the rest of my life...'  Tears flowed.  I had no faith as I understood faith.  I expected nothing.  The gift of my sick self was made with no trace of graciousness.


The result was as if windows had opened in heaven; as if some dynamo of heavenly power had begun flowing, flowing into me.  From that moment my recovery began.


Through this incident and others...God was trying to teach me something important about prayer.... I got only part of the message.  I saw that the demanding spirit - 'God, I must have thus and so; God this is what I want you to do for me' - is not real prayer and hence receives no answer.  I understood that the reason for this is that God absolutely refuses to violate our free will and ...unless self-will is voluntarily given up, even God cannot move to answer prayer."


Catherine Marshall relates two more accounts of a prayer of relinquishment from the lives of others, then writes:

"Larry's story and Una's have several points in common.  In each case, the mother wanted the same thing desperately -- life and health for her child.  Each mother commanded God to answer her prayer.  While the demanding spirit had the upper hand, God seemed remote, uapproachable


Then, through a combination of the obvious futility of the demanding prayer plus weariness of body and spirit, the mother surrendered to the possibility of what she feared most.  At that instant there came a turning point.  Suddenly and inexplicably fear left and the feeling of lightness ad joy that had nothing to do with outer circumstances.  This marked the turning point.  From that moment the prayer began to be answered.  


...We know that fear blocks prayer.  Fear is a barrier erected between us and God, so that His power cannot get through to us.  So -- how does one get rid of fear?


This is not easy when the life of someone dear hangs in the balance, or when what we want most in all the world seems to be slipping away.  At such times, every emotion, every passion, is tied up in the dread that what we fear most is about to come upon us.  Obviously only strong measures can deal with such a powerful fear.  My experience has been that trying to overcome it by turning one's thoughts to the positive or by repeating affirmations is not potent enough.


...Jesus is saying: 'Admit the possibility of what you fear most.  And lo, as you stop fleeing, as you force yourself to walk up to the fear, as you look it full in the face, never forgetting that God and His power are still the supreme reality, the fear evaporates.'  Drastic? Yes.  But effective.


One point about the Prayer of Relinquishment puzzled me for many years.  There seemed to be a contradiction between the Prayer of Faith and that of relinquishment.  If relinquishment is real, the one praying must be willing to receive or not receive his heart's desire.  But that state of mind scarcely seems to exhibit the faith that knows that one's request will be granted...


Now I believe I have the explanation...Once I thought that faith was believing this or that specific thing in my mind with never a doubt.  Now I know that faith is nothing more or less than actively trusting God...."


Actively trusting God - and being willing to have my understanding of who He is corrected in the process -  is still a curriculum that challenges me greatly even after 45 years.  I have, at various times, surrendered my children, my husband, my life, my marriage, my possessions, my lifestyle, my time and our future to the GOD whom I had found to be GOODNESS and LOVE through and through.  I have practiced on a regular basis the voluntary surrender of my rights modeled by Jesus and described in Philippians 2.  But I have also strongly resisted surrendering MY DEMAND FOR LIFE ON MY TERMS many  times - and the older I am the more I recognize the undercover resistance movement in my actions and choices of the past.  

Unpacked, Falling Asleep, and Grateful

David, Mom and I took a red eye flight from Anchorage to Houston to Tampa last night after spending 10 days exploring Alaska, enjoying the scenery and wildlife and COOLNESS and many great meals.  As ususal, I took bunches of photos - until I inadvertently smashed our camera against a table and bent the lens.   This  sunset view is from our lodge, north of Talkeetna.

We took a flight seeing Mt. McKinley tour with Sheldon Air Service and landed on Eldridge or Etheridge glacier for a few minutes of taking it all in.  A real treat.

Mom and I stopped to examine so many different kinds of lichen and mushrooms whenever we were out walking.  I have no idea what this type is or even if it IS lichen or mushroom...these were like flexible rubber cups.

These guys/gals were really enjoying their lazy afternoon of sunning in Resurrection Bay/Kenai Fjords.

I'll try to post some more photos on the Temple site later.  No sleep last night...must turn in soon.

Multitude Monday: Tasting Joy

The overcast morning with periodic sprinkles, spits, and spasms of rain made me reconsider a solitary bike ride to the beach.  While the gray sky and light rain part are perfect for the soul that is drying around the edges and feeling the need for outdoor solitude, the spasms of rain are not only uncomfortable but also downright dangerous to a cyclist on a road where drivers are already often more engrossed with the scenery than the bike lane occupant on their right.  

So instead, after a brief survey of the back yard I grabbed garden gloves and branch cutters, climbed the ladder and tackled the overgrown bougainvillea.  A few minutes of battling physical thorns should provide the space my mind needed to unkink and stretch....and savor gratitude moments, tasting the joy once again :

36.  for the empty, lid-less plastic jar near the front door. signalling much recent bug and lizard catching activity

37.  for the 3 year old suddenly dashing out the front door and who, when questioned, announces "I'm going to let the lizard go so he won't die"....

38.  for the sunset so wide both in color range and height that I had difficulty keeping my eyes facing forward, eastward on the road in front of me, instead of staring in my rear view mirror


39.  for the gift of a morning walk in the park accompanied by sunlight AND a gentle rain


40.  for the 5 year old boy so entranced by the stories and people of The Chronicles of Narnia that he peppers his conversation with character exploits and Narnia trivia questions

41.  for the severely raw throat I garnered as consequence of screaming in rage at my husband of 35 years (I am all for mining the gold of natural consequences - in my life or others)


42. for a reliable, safe, "kiwi green" car to drive 


43.  with effective A/C 


44.  and a bike rack on top


45.  and flexible seating and storage 


46.  and plastic, not carpeted floors, 


47.  for vacuuming out sand from the beach that stuck to small feet


47.  after a morning of play at beach and park


48.  for the playground merry-go-round - an "old-time" treasure 


49.  amidst challenging play structures


50.  and climbing rocks


51.  on a playground shaded by moss-covered oaks


52.  peopled by active day-campers playing capture the flag


53.  and kind middle school girls who don't retreat from the "social strange-ness" of P,


54.  who invite her to conversation and a moment of inclusion.


55.  for sauteed spinach 


56.  and portobello mushrooms


57.  and onions and ham


58.  folded into egg and white omelet 


59.  with swiss and fat-free feta cheese


60.  for a "savor every bite"  sunday morning breakfast


61.  for 4 month old boy who now snuggles up close, wrapping his arms so his hands grip the sides of my chest 


62.  and who stays quietly content wrapped just so, while I sway on the couch or sit on the chair


63.  his eyes open, peacefully gazing at mother and father


64.  or eyelids drooping, heavy with sleep


65.  the coos, chortles, and quiet "conversation" of this same boy with his mother and father

66.  his mimicry of their speech so obvious, so intent


67.  for this repeated miracle lesson about the development of speech


68.  and how we are all formed and shaped by our relationships, within family


69.  for the wonderfully consistent love and provision and nurture my parents gave me


70.  and its doorway to healthy personality and trust in a God who Loves

Where in the World...? One

Hide and seek is a popular game with our grandchildren.  Reading - or more accurately "studying" Richard Scarry books (or other books illustrated with a great deal of detail that enhance learning about our world) is a past-time loved as much by Isaac and Eli as it was by their dad.  Instead of simply reading the story, the adult reader finds tiny details in the story for the child to search for - like "where's the pickle on this page?" or "who can find someone who is spilling something?"


I thought it might be fun to play another blog game called "Where in the world is Sandy's camera?"  I will post several pictures without telling you where they were taken.  You post a comment with your guess.  If a few guesses come in but they are incorrect, I will give a hint or hints as needed.  

Anyone may guess, but I will require more detailed answers from those who live in the area where the photos are taken.  If we have fun with the game, perhaps I'll try posting the gps coordinates with the answers  so you can find the exact spot on google earth or attach a linky tool for blog readers to post their own photos for us to identify.

I will try to post a variety of photo challenges, with some from other locales and some that have already been identified in this or other blogs.   Ok, here are your first three to guess - #s 1-1, 1-2, 1-3.  Questions are allowed.  Have fun!